It’s 2023, and as Lizzo says “it’s about damn time.” Time for what? Time to ditch the “all or nothing” mindset that often accompanies resolutions. As with everything in life (the seasons, our mood and our priorities) there is fluidity in goals. Once you peel back the 0 to 100 layer, you’ll discover an entire spectrum hidden underneath, allowing you to float-kick your way towards freedom.
Let’s put it like this, would you click on your favorite ness digital video, but first tie your shoelaces together? Probably not (unless you’re really up for a challenge, but we would definitely not recommend this.) And why not? Because you’d literally be setting yourself up for failure. When you succumb to the “all or nothing” mentality, you’re mentally tying your shoelaces together. In other words, you’re giving yourself the tools for all the fixings of self-sabotage.
To think that our goals need to be either A or B leaves us feeling not only trapped, but also resentful. If we don’t achieve “x” by this specific, self-inflicted (and often unrealistic) timeline, then we failed, and that’s IT. Any initial excitement or eagerness to achieve said goal is now overshadowed by feelings of pressure, shame, and stress. Um, no, thank you. With so many other obstacles in life that are out of our control, let’s focus on one that we can control: mindset.
Now, let’s allow our thoughts to take a juicy high-bounce and reframe.
Why do we set goals in the first place? So we can shed feelings of complacency. Goals allow us to work towards something, mentally, financially, professionally, romantically, physically. No matter which aspect of our lives they focus on, goals, at their essence, connote mobility. Therefore we see goals as movement. Movement is fluid, movement is continuous, movement is ever-changing.
Setting and achieving a goal is never just a direct arrival from point A to point B; it’s realizing that even between just these two points, there’s space. Space to stumble over, and backtrack on, and veer off, and weave through the interconnected web of it all. Approaching goals with this fresh lens gives you the chance to finally get to know (and hopefully start to listen to) yourself.
Monthly, weekly, even daily, honest self check-ins will allow for accountability with less rigidity:
Prevent burn-out: instead of going 100% everyday and then feeling drained in a week, which vessels of your life can you pour more/less into? Be in tune with patterns and habits, and then create sustainable practices that also allow for flexibility.
Prevent feelings of failure: instead of tying your self-worth directly into reaching a goal, recognize that in different phases of your life, certain priorities will need to shift. It’s not a one way or no-way; there are alternate routes to take.
Spark newfound joy: remember that with any goal, the majority of the time spent is the process, the journey, the “getting there.” This is the time to find your people and the experiences that fuel, inspire, motivate, and support you in the most authentic way.